For me he was seeing the root of this https://ecosoberhouse.com/, this emotional disease. Desire obviously runs contrary to the idea of being in God’s will, in fact it is being in Self Will that seems to create distress in many people with addictive behaviours. It is a strange feeling of not wanting to be found out of being less than, not good enough. “If people realise what the real me is like, they will reject me! ” type thinking although a lot of this is unconscious and does not pop in to our minds as thoughts but is an unconscious self schema that shapes our behaviours. This is similar to relying on external means, i.e. alcohol, drugs, addictive behaviours to regulate our emotions and bolster our low self esteem. Since AA began, I’ve taken immense wallops in all these areas because of my failure to grow up, emotionally and spiritually”.
Either way, if he could perhaps of had the ability to say this is how exactly I am feeling he could have acted on this emotional information rather than reacted to it. Most of my distress and emotional pain in recovery comes from wanting stuff, and not getting my way or not accepting things as they are.
That is not to say that normal people cannot be full of sin – a cursory look around the work and it’s events will soon confirm this is the case. What I am saying is that they do not have the emotion dysregulation or fear based responding that I seem to have which often prompts “sin”. It is important that when we embark upon this quest to alleviate our spiritual malady that we are not too harsh on ourselves. No one is perfect at first when attempting to live a spiritual life, especially when we are coming back from a long spiritual hiatus. What is important though is that we strive to be a little better every single day and never give up on our spiritual journey in recovery. Our spiritual malady never just goes away and stays away on its own, it requires a constant spiritual connectivity and effort on our parts in our programs to keep it and the subsequent alcohol and drug abuse at bay.
So long as we make an active effort to address our spiritual malady every day, we will find relief from it, one day at a time. Many people who are in need of recovery resist it knowing that the solution is spiritual. The desire to avoid connection with the spiritual aspects of the self are embedded in the nature of addiction. The avoidance of spirituality keeps the addict in addiction long after the desire to return to whole and healthy living is sparked.
The more we focus less on ourselves we allow a god of our understanding to enter our minds and work in our lives. I would suggest in relation to the issue of co-morbidities that one try to deal with these alcoholism related issues and then see if there are any other to deal with afterwards. For me, as someone who has been treated for anxiety and depression prior to recovery the 12 steps appear to have treated these as emotional consequences of my underlying condition of emotion dysregulation which I call alcoholism. In other words it is the consequence of my fear based condition, this affective disorder. These emotion processing deficits also appear to make us more impulsive, and to choose lesser short term gain over greater long term gain in decision making. It can lead to a distress feeling state that can make us fear based, perfectionist, have catastrophic thoughts, intolerance of uncertainty, low frustration and distress tolerance, be reactionary, moody, and immature in our emotional responding.
It simply means we are spiritually blocked off from the Power of God, which enables us to remain sober, happy, joyous, and free. The disease of alcohol and drug addiction is not just mental and physical but also spiritual. The spiritual malady, however, can be seen as an inward unmanageability.
If you are an alcoholic, then you know you cannot just put the plug in the jug and quit. If it were as easy as not eating a peanut anymore, then you would have stopped long ago. Conveniently, I overlooked the words ‘God as you understand Him (or Her’) ingeniously included in the steps. I was born Jewish and had studied both the Old and New Testament. I had been practicing meditation for almost 20 years and had read countless books on Eastern religion and thought. I had studied Emmett Fox, The Course in Miracles and was a card-carrying member of the Self-Realization Fellowship .
This seems compounded by not always being able to read our emotions or somatic states. I am assailed externally by fear of what other’s think about me and internally about what I think of me – when these two line up it can have a powerful and damaging effect on my psyche. I have found over the last decade in recovery that when I turn my Will over to the care of the God of my understanding that I am restored to sanity and my thoughts are sound, they are on a higher plane as the Big Book tells me. I have seen in myself how fear and shame seem to drive most of my maladaptive behaviour. We have difficulties in our relationships with others, these relationships are often unhealthy and ill. Some of us have this knawing feeling of not being good enough, have a hole in the soul which we are/were kinda always unconsciously trying to protect, shield from the world.
quest For Personal Prestige Over Service A Spiritual Malady: Pope Francis
Celebrating the power of story, the inauguralSanta Fe Literary Festivalwill be an unforgettable weekend dedicated to a shared love and language of ideas. Collected Works Bookstore is thrilled to be the official bookstore of the Festival. Almost disappointingly I found some of my sins were quite tame when compared to other people I have spoken to in recovery. Dr Bob, it is aid, went on to help over 5,000 alcoholics achieve sobriety and died sober. I share my feelings of shame with those who know what that feels like. When I am in fear and shame the same pattern of negative reactions entrap my heart in its’ poisonous grip and I react in a way I would not choose to, if more reasonable. I related and all my negative emotions retreated to source like a evening tide on a beach.
- It helps us see ourselves and our condition of alcoholism and how it effects us and others.
- Today I look further at the disease of alcoholism focusing on it as a spiritual malady.
- I share my feelings of shame with those who know what that feels like.
- The bottom line, a true alcoholic or addict has no power to stop, avoid, or control their drinking.
- Many people who are in need of recovery resist it knowing that the solution is spiritual.
The reason we cannot just quit is that our mind constantly has us believe that we can control and enjoy our drinking. spiritual malady No matter what the consequences were in the past, our mind will be obsessed with the thought of drinking.
The Psychology And Neuropsychology Of Alcoholism, Addictive Behaviour And Recovery
It affects every aspect of our lives and must be overcome if we wish to fix ourselves mentally and physically. This mesh of negative emotions can link up fairly instantaneously I find. It is the web my spiritual malady seeks to ensnare me in. These things were true to some extent, in fact, to a considerable extent with some of us.
My step 4 and then 5 showed me that I did not have the natural ability to deal with my negative emotions. Hence when I came into recovery I had hundreds and hundreds of resentments swirling around my mind, poisoning my thoughts and sending constant emotional daggers into my heart. He said to list all the negative emotions that I had been in the grip of and exhibiting in relation to my various misdemeanors and the resentments I had held against various people and institutions over the preceding decades.
What Does Aa Mean By spiritual Malady?
Although social support is key to early engagement in the Twelve-Step membership, over time, spiritual issues emerge as increasingly important and helping others achieve recovery is at the heart of this. Bill Wilson had got this idea of abnormal, or allergic reaction to alcohol, from a physician, Dr Silkworth, who had treated him at Towns Hospital. I got as far as deciding it was an inherent problem with processing negative emotions, which it is. Just as revealing where the negative emotions listed which clearly showed how I react, and can still react to people who I believe have caused my hurt or rejection.
Taking a commercial inventory is a fact-finding and a fact-facing process. It is an effort to discover the truth about the stock-in-trade. One object is to disclose damaged or unsalable goods, to get rid of them promptly and without regret.
These illustrate how the 12 step programme can help with an emotion dysregulation disorder. I have suggested clearly in previous blogs how I think AA’s 12 recovery programme helps specifically with problems of emotion dysregulation.
What About God?
Behavior become driven by defenses that function to keep from feeling bad. Reality becomes distorted to further protect the self from poor self esteem. The transfer of blame to someone else is an indicator of internal shame. I realised when doing my step 4 that that I had not previously been able to leave various supposed slights and abuses from my past in the past because I did not have the emotional maturity to look at these episodes reasonably and objectively. I had an argument with a guy once who suddenly proclaimed he was upset by what I had said.
- The common way to get this transformational change in your psyche is by doing the 12 Steps that are written in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.
- This is why we celebrate this great anniversary, this co-founding of AA, as it is the start of this therapeutic and spiritual connectedenss with other alcoholics needing help and giving help and with the wider world.
- There are many men and women who felt the same way and have been able to overcome the malady by maintaining spiritual fitness and practicing the principles of AA in all of their affairs.
- We reacted via anger and put downs hence I have grown up to be dismissive.
- AA’s 12 steps are a spiritual program of recovery but at the heart of that spirituality is the role of sponsoring.
Desiring stuff seems at the root of my fear based stuff – the exquisite torture of desire which soon loses it’s so-called relish and just becomes torturous. When I have a fear of not getting stuff and this is linked to insecurity, as mentioned in the Big Book, it is usually in relation to my pocket book, financial insecurity, personal relationships, self esteem etc. We can not rely on our thoughts and feelings or, in other words, our Self Will. Our self will has become impaired and is no longer in the service of our successful survival. AA provides many ways of becoming more emotionally well, which ultimately means more emotionally mature. It is emotionally healthy to be altruistic – to help others without question or expectation.
How Far Have We Come In Understanding This spiritual Malady Of Alcoholism?
The motivation that drove most of these positive outcomes, however, was typically relief from their low self-esteem or otherwise painful thinking. Once turning to substances many of these people struggle to maintain the same focus on the other priorities they had. As an alcoholic I have found I needed to grow up mentally and emotionally and I agree with the idea of emotional dysfunctionality which I believe is caused, probably, by past trauma or attachment issues. This means that I have hyper-sensitivity and can be over-reactive but I do not believe that I am in any way spiritually deficit. This is a Judea-Christian belief structure of bad versus good and I believe that I did not join AA to become good but well.
So we have two main ailments, distressed based wanting which results in the same negative emotions as being in a shame- based fear of rejection. He “had to” react with arrogance, dismissiveness, impatience and intolerance, because his shame, which is a fear based emotion, made him fearful of his own recovery and fear makes one strangely dishonest , This is my experience. For me we engage futilely and distressingly in resentment because we have an inability to process and control our emotions, they overwhelm us and we often react by people pleasing or react via various defense mechanisms . Selfishness and self -centeredness is the root of my trouble. My troubles are of my own making and arise out my living a life run on self-will. I must be God centered instead of self centered and God directed rather than self directed . The specific directions in the first 102 pages of the book Alcoholic Anonymous.